Thomas, it really is no coincidence that I share many things with some of the greatest writers of all time, because I am obviously one of them. It says so on my book’s dust jacket.

For instance, Ernest Hemingway had cats. I also have a cat. William S. Burroughs had a heroin addiction, whereas I am a chocoholic. Dostoevsky was exiled to Siberia, and I had to live in Gary, Indiana for 18 months. The list goes on and on. I think you can see the obvious point I’m making here.

We writers are quirky people. Our idiosyncrasies signify how different and creative our minds are compared to regular people. You didn’t need to read any of Shakespeare’s works to know he was a writer – you only needed to see his third nipple to know he was special. It’s exactly the same with me. And my vestigial tail.

SOA, Greg? Seriously? Are you really gonna be that guy? Fine.

Let’s just say that writing a book solely about SOA would be like making the movie Rocky solely about… chasing a chicken. Yes, chasing the chicken was a very important part of the stirring training montage that would help propel that film to the Best Picture Award of 1976, but it was not the whole story. There was also the part where Rocky drank the glass of raw eggs, the part where Rocky said “Cut me, Mick,” the part where Rocky bounced the little ball around Philadelphia, and at least two or three other important scenes.

So as you can see, ERP is like the whole film. SOA is an important scene, but I doubt anyone would want to make a whole Off-Broadway play, A Hollywood Trilogy, or a multi-part web series about it, Greg. Seriously doubt it.

Where do I begin? Well, let’s look beyond the fact that I am a master storyteller who has been positively reviewed by the giants of literary criticism, and just take a look at the numbers, shall we?

I am the 6th best selling business text author in history, with the fastest growing audience. My work serves the needs of millions of discerning executives in the global mid-market in Manufacturing, Distribution, Services, Retail, and probably the Film Industry as well. My books are on shelves across the world, in more than 146 countries and have been translated into 37 languages, including “leet speak.” So as you can see, Rick, I’m kind of a big deal.

Which means that you should feel lucky to be able to make contact with me here. That’s right, Peter Jackson. Lucky.

Only 50 countries, David? Aww, that’s cute. But maybe you should come back when you actually qualify as “global” rather than just “international.” Say, for instance, when you become the 6th best selling business text author in history, with the fastest growing audience. When your work serves the needs of millions of discerning executives in the global mid-market in Manufacturing, Distribution, Services, Retail, and probably the Film Industry as well. When your books are on shelves across the world, in more than 146 countries and have been translated into 37 languages, including “leet speak.” In other words, Rick, when you’re actually kind of a big deal.

Anyway, I’m sure there is one ERP vendor out there who can satisfy your merely “international” needs. I can’t think of one off the top of my head, but that’s what they have ERP experts for. Maybe you should ask one of them your non-global, non-bestseller related questions.

If I learned anything from my ERP research for Best Laid Plans, it’s… currently escaping me. But I can tell you the process I go through when choosing the characters for my stories. That should give you some insight.

I believe that an author should look at the fit of the character for their story and then analyze the long-term stability of that character and his or her attributes. No character is perfect, but some have obvious integrity and will have a proven history of coming through for the story again and again. Take Rocky Balboa, for example. Film users have a specific need for an uplifting triumph over tragedy story, and Rocky filled that need perfectly, with intergrity and stability, again and again. Like, 17 times or something. As a matter of fact, I’m currently in negotiations to use Rocky Balboa in my next book about SOA governance.

I’m pretty sure this is exactly the answer you needed, but maybe you should consult an expert about the selection process, anyway.

Fiction, non-fiction, these are outdated terms, Brad. My work goes where the story takes it, not where the Dewey decimal system tells it to go.

The foundation of the Cameron Bidwell genre is a combination of experience, knowledge, and pathos. I have spent the last 25 years of my life writing… things. Stories, poems, emotional holiday cards and thank you notes. I understand the global audience as well as local reader’s needs. I also have read several articles about what it’s like to work in manufacturing, distribution, and service industries. So I’ve done my time in the trenches. I’ve lived my characters. And that's how I deliver the most comprehensive stories, which are only defined by their pulse-pounding genius. But if you’d like to buy my book, you can find it in the non-fiction section under enterprise business texts.

Actually, If you have any questions about where to buy my book, how much it costs, what kind of credit cards they take at the store, or if you’re Peter Jackson and you need directions to the nearest Barnes & Noble, just drop me a line here.

Technology is the backbone of everything I do, Kristin. I’m kind of like Tom Clancy, but important. For instance, I have been on the cutting edge of the internet ever since I found out I could Google myself in 2006. Now, I’ve obviously moved to the next level, because as you can see, I have a blog. I think when you’re talking about the application of breakthrough technology, “blog” pretty much says it all.

So, there you have it, Kristin. But just because I am an expert on technology, doesn’t mean all you other viewers need to send technology questions. Feel free to ask about epic storytelling. Especially if you are Peter Jackson. Just click here and fire away.

Michael, I’m not exactly sure why you put the word “books” in quotes like that. My work speaks to a myriad of… several audiences. First and foremost, it shouts to the heads of Development and Finance at every major publishing company “I am available!” Because without them, there are no more Cameron Bidwell stories. Millions would suffer.

Second, I want to hit influencers such as business/industry media, industry analysts, and others (bloggers, etc.) who would get the word out about my stories. To the aforementioned publishing executives.

Third, I want to reach out to everyone from my college creative writing class, especially professor Carlson who said my fantasy novella entitled “InbetweEarth” was “unreadable” and “a complete rip-off.” I want to reach out and say: In your collective faces.

Fourth, I want Peter Jackson to know that I’m still waiting for that phone call.

Oh, and lastly, I want to reach people who might be interested in the ERP stuff, blah, blah, blah.

So, there you have it, Michael. I hope that answered your “question.” But if not, I really don’t care. If anyone has a real question about storytelling, writing, publishing, or if you are Peter Jackson, please feel free to drop me a line here.

Well, Justine, as you may know, many of the literary giants of our time have been known to wear eccentric clothing. Hemingway’s fisherman sweater. Faulkner’s tweed jacket. Edgar Allen Poe’s thong. My seersucker suit represents a symbol of my individuality, and my belief in personal freedom. Also it’s machine washable, which comes in handy when you wear the same suit everyday. Tom Wolfe taught me that.

If any of you out there would like to know some of the many other traits I share with the literary giants of our time, especially a certain John Ronald Reuel Tolkien (call me, Peter), click here and drop me a line.

Oh boy, Mike. See, that wasn’t actually a question, which is ironic on so many levels. It sounds like you might not have a whole lot going on upstairs, and teaching isn’t exactly my strong suit – unless I was telling a riveting story about a teacher, like Morgan Freeman in Lean on Me. So I’m going to completely pass the buck and send you to a non-best-selling author expert. Just click on this link and someone with the knowledge and patience to explain ERP to someone like you will happily answer all your questions. Or statements.

Look, let’s make this easy on everyone. If you’d like to talk about how my work has made a profound impact on literature and possibly sci-fi/fantasy film directors, just click here. If you want to talk about ERP or supply chains or SOA, there are plenty of people who don’t know how to tell a good story who are ready and waiting to do their thing.